Finding Time: For Friends

Friday, July 16, 2010

If you got one of these from me in 5th grade, you were my friend.

This used to be easy. For a long time, my life was all about friends. I lived with friends, took last minute road trips to see friends, worked with friends, and constantly phoned a friend. I was all about the friends.

Then, well, I’m not going to blame this one on my kids. Life just changed. It is no longer all about friends. It is about marriage and family and church and job and responsibility and finances and other (deep voice) very serious commitments.

But it is also about friends. Friends are a serious commitment. They can stick with you from grade school to the grave. They can come and go. Both types are good. Old friends, new friends - they all matter. The trouble is, I can start to feel pretty alone (friend-wise) in this oh-so-connected society. I'm online, on the phone, out and about . . . but staccato bursts of communication are not satisfying. Phone calls in the carpool line, messages without punctuation - they don’t really connect us. They aren’t bad, but they aren’t enough. At least not for me. After a while, I get frustrated and find that I must have some quality time.

Lately, I have been lucky. I’ve enjoyed an abundance of quality time with good friends. I got to have dinner with some favorite gal pals. No husbands or kids allowed. And then a long-distance/often-missed friend visited as she was passing through. Both interactions were worth the days of scheduling it took to arrange them. We laughed, and talked, and shared - and made our friendships stronger. We enjoyed simply being with one another. You can’t do that on Facebook.

So this weekend, I encourage you (and me) to take time for friends. Real time, even if you have to schedule it far off in the future. For as Ralph Waldo Emerson famously said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.”

Making a friendship bracelet doesn't hurt either.

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4 Responses to “Finding Time: For Friends”

  1. I had this discussion with a friend recently who was "missing" her friends. I told her that for me it was all about scheduling time and being deliberate about spending time with my friends since it's no longer an easy task! Thanks for your comment! I'm glad that you love the pics. I edited them "traditionally" as well so that you all will have different versions to choose from. Can't wait to meet you and your sweet boys :-) I hope the weather cooperates!

  2. My thoughts exactly. Thanks for putting down what I have been thinking forever. An inspiration.

  3. My thoughts exactly. Thanks for putting down what I have been thinking forever. An inspiration.