Waiting on Perfect

Monday, May 2, 2011

I have a post typed up, ready to go for today, but I'm waiting on an essential link to go live. . . So, while we are waiting, I have some random thoughts.

I woke up at 3 o'clock this morning with my mind racing. I was anxious about everything that I have jammed into this week, and the realization that I may have dropped a ball here or there. I was playing through conversations in my mind, and the restlessness just built. Finally, I thought to pray. I asked God to take those thoughts captive and to help me rest in Him. It was a simple, tired prayer, and it did not work immediately. It took some time for me to go back to sleep, but I was a lot less frustrated that I otherwise would have been.

When my alarm went off not too much later, I felt dead tired. I hit "snooze" twice, but then I got up because I have been off schedule lately. I knew I needed my quiet time with God, and He did not disappoint. I caught up on some readings in Jesus Calling, which are always so spot-on. I will spare you the ramblings of my what I wrote in my journal, but here is where I got to the point: I am not perfect. My current lack of time and energy is an exercise in humility and dependence on God. Lord, lead me. I don't want to be perfect, I just want to do your will. I don't need to be perfect in the eyes of the world.

Can you feel the relief? I am not stressing about anything truly awful right now. My middle-of-the night anxiety was caused by just "the usual" in my life: mothering duties, preschool schedules, work projects, domestic tasks left undone - the usual. But it all becomes so stressful to me when I try to be perfect in the eyes of the world. When my "fear of displeasing people puts me in bondage to them, and they become my primary focus," as Sarah Young says so beautifully in today's reading.

So this week, as I face a tight schedule and the idea that someone, somewhere may think I've done less than my best on any task - I let go of perfection. I wait. I maybe get "behind schedule," and I may take a slacker shortcut here or there. But it is okay because I don't want to be perfect, I just want to do your will.

How do you face the idea of not being perfect?

If you need more inspiration, I just discovered that Jen (Soli Deo Gloria leader and inspiration extraordinare) is participating in a "31 Days" series. Her part is 31 Days Closer to Hearing God's Voice. Uhm, yes. Sign me up. Because if I'm going to embrace this whole "I don't need to be perfect, I just need to do God's will" thing, then I kind of need to know what God's will is. Love how the timing of these things always works out just so . . .

On Tuesday, linking up with

lt;center>so much shouting, so much   laughter

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17 Responses to “Waiting on Perfect”

  1. it's always a good perspective to remember you are performing for an audience of one. i love the jesus calling devotional - i read it every morning as well. :)

  2. Glenda ChildersMay 2, 2011 at 9:46 AM

    I enjoyed my time with "Jesus Calling" this morning, too.


  3. I let go completely and utterly. I don't want to be perfect either - not the perfection that the world has - but I want to be perfect in Him and Him alone.

    I am sorry that you woke up anxious. I am sorry that all of your responsibilities are a bit overwhelming. Be still now, and pray that He will give you the strength and the wisdom to know what to do next.

    Praying that tonight, you will sleep soundly and at peace.

    Mrs. M.

  4. So glad to have found you! Your post touched my heart, so thank you. I'll look forward to visiting here, again.

  5. Diana TrautweinMay 3, 2011 at 1:43 AM

    Ah, yes - the curse of perfectionism. You are wise for one so young - to give up that desire to be perfect in the eyes of anyone but our Savior is a waste of time and energy and actually drags us down and far away from the love of God. Speak back to that perfectionistic part of yourself, clearly and firmly. You are a daughter of the Most High God and God loves you to eternity and back. God is working toward wholeness/holiness in you - not perfection in the eyes of this world or anyone in it. Thanks for these good reflections.

  6. Great thoughts and well said....linking up from Jen's. - http://heartsoulexchange.blogspot.com/

  7. Thank you! I slept so well last night. What a gift.

  8. Me, too! Thanks for your comment - I'm off to visit your blog now :)

  9. Thank YOU for your powerful words.

  10. My MIL recently asked me to get this book and I haven't had a chance, but I do have the kids version, so that is a step in the right direction.

    This is the sentence that resonates most with me: "My current lack of time and energy is an exercise in humility and dependence on God." Through this season in my life, I have had to let go of people-pleasing, pride (wanting to appear better and more put together than I am), and the spirit of busyness. The rewards are so great...

  11. How do I deal with not being perfect? Um, not well. This is a major battle I fight.

    Everyone has been talking about this book. . .maybe I should read it, yes?

  12. I'm a grandmother and there are still times I struggle with this. Sarah had it right when she wrote "fear of displeasing people puts me in bondage to them, and they become my primary focus." I needed this reminder as I head into a very busy month. Thank you.


  13. Yes. The daily devotions are short, but powerful.

  14. oh, to better take my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ! so much starts from there, doesn't it?

    thank you for linking your grace-filled words with ShoutLaughLove.

  15. I just found your blog through A Joyful Chaos and after reading your last few entries, I can see why I was attracted to yours (or maybe the Lord even lead me here) :) I have actually been on a journey this year in particular of being set free from perfectionism. For me God used a counselor, a group with a workbook we went through and the book, The Seven Desires of Every Heart by Mark & Debra Laaser. He also used a great man of God who didn't even know my husband and I but when he prayed over me, he broke off perfectionism. Yes, so needless to say I have felt the journey. I think there is still the struggle but ultimately I think what set me free was God revealing the underlying hurts and lies that I was believing about myself. I am also reading Jesus Calling! Oh and, I was going to share that this last year I would wake up a lot feeling anxious about a lot of things and I would pray too and just begin to thank God for whatever I thought of and it would help me go back to sleep. I look forward to reading more from you!

  16. P.S. I am a mother to two boys, ages 3 1/2 and 1!

  17. Sounds like we have a lot in common! So nice to "meet" you and thank you for reading. Awesome that you came here through A Joyful Chaos - it is cool how we are all connected.

    How wonderful that you are being "set free from perfectionism." Love how you phrased that. I find God working on me in a lot of ways, and often through people who don't know they are working on me! Thank you for being here and sharing. It means a lot.