At Home for Father's Day

Thursday, June 16, 2011

"Wasn't that the definition of home? Not where you are from, but where you are wanted?"

Cutting for Stone, by Abraham Verghese

When I read those lines the other day, I closed the book and thought for a moment.

home (n) - where you are wanted. Yes, that seems like a nice definition.

I thought about my home and how I feel wanted, even needed, here. Then I thought about my husband. Does he feel the same way? He is wanted and needed. Do we show him? Maybe that would be a good gift for Father's Day.

It used to be that two boys and a wife greeted him when he came home from work. "Daddy's home!!" one would yell. I would appear with a baby on my hip to make sure he got to kiss Daddy, too. It was a production, mostly put on by the little ones, and I suspect it made him feel special.

Now, only Little Guy runs to the door exclaiming, "Daddy!!" Big Guy is usually too absorbed in his play to move and I am the one who taught him that. I continue cooking supper and just holler, "Hey-ay . . ."

This is not an awful family scene. My husband has not complained about it. But I wonder, could I do more to make him feel the definition of home?


I could start by greeting him more enthusiastically, even when it is inconvenient or I don't feel like it.

I could ask for his opinion on something, anything.

I could tell him, "Thank you for all that you do."

I could ask him, "What can we do to make you feel more appreciated at home?"

If I did, he would probably laugh, "Are you serious?"
"Yes!" I would insist.
"Oh, you don't need to do anything. I'm fine."
Then he might laugh again and say something scandalous.
Then we would both laugh and I bet, yes I bet, he would walk away feeling more at home.

Are you resolving to make any subtle changes in honor of Father's Day?

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11 Responses to “At Home for Father's Day”

  1. Thanks for the provoking thoughts... I've been pondering similar ones as of late: "How can I better show my appreciation for my husband and make him feel needed and welcome at home?"

  2. Hi Courtney.  This is really a lovely post.  I could also brush up a little on the welcoming committee. And all your other suggestions.
    God bless

  3. that does sound like an appropriate definition. :)

  4. Love this post! Very good thought for me in regards to how I make my husband feel. Sadly, I don't think home was always that definition for him growing up so I would love to bless him that way!

  5. Ohh, thought provoking indeed!  What a great perspective!  

  6. If you are wondering what you can do for your husband for Father's Day, you just did it.
    Your Husband

  7. Aww!  I love it when you read the blog :)  Glad that worked out!  

  8. You know, I hadn't thought about it, but you are right: there has been a subtle transition around here, too. You have inspired me to change up our Daddy greeting!  [and I am swooning over your husband's comment below -- so sweet!]

  9. I haven't sat back and really looked at our home.. how things are changing.. is this home? Children growing up so their reactions to daddy are so different now. My 10 year old greets him in a far different way than my 3 year old.. I would imagine we greet our children differently as well.. Makes me think what can we all do to make this home for everyone... thanks for the thought provoking post.


  10. What a thought-provoking post!  And I can carry it further to my kids as they feel wanted here?  I think I need to work on taking a few minutes when any of them come home and really focus on them and how their day has been.

    And one of my hubby's favorite memories is when our son was about 2 or 3 - he would yell "Sister, my daddy's home, my daddy's home".  Made my hubby feel like a million dollars!