Faith

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Bonnie's question for this week is, "How is God currently calling you to walk by faith?"


Can I just be real for a minute? I feel like I'm going to throw up, because I've been reading about the Penn State debacle and I want to shake someone. A child molestation case broke open in our town a few weeks ago, and it seems like a disgusting epidemic. I want to lock my boys in our house and never let them out. I feel like a mother bear.

When reading about the Penn State case I clicked on a strange sounding article called "Marathon Boy" and my heart sank even more. Then, I've been following the Compassion bloggers in Ecuador, and I just can't imagine. There is so much suffering in this world. . .

I had to sit down.

Before all that, I was thinking about my own circumstances in response to Bonnie's question. I am finally feeling better after what turns out to be nothing serious . . . but it was disruptive and I struggled. In the process, I had to read and believe, really believe, my own words that we should not worry.

And then, just yesterday, I got a call from my 4 year old's preschool that he jumped off the swings and hurt his wrist. As I picked him up, carried him to the doctor, held him through the x-rays and dealt with the news of a fracture, I marveled at how I felt nothing but gratitude. Gratitude for my own health and ability to take care of him, gratitude for my car to transport him, and the abundance of doctors at our service. Gratitude for his little pats of reassurance to me, gratitude for a bed to tuck him into for the afternoon, and gratitude for the treat of cartoons.




Now, and only now, can I look back and see how God got me to this place. Why I've been reading Psalms, why I've had to endure some uncomfortable moments, why I've had to re-evaluate and pause, why I was in certain places at certain times and how it all comes to be.

But.

While I can see that in my own little life, I cannot understand the stomach-turning awfulness that made me sit down to write this post.

I just turn to this:

I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted . . . Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?

Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High." I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.

Psalm 77:1-2, 9-12

I take a deep breath and I remember that it is okay to be honest with God - to get angry, to question, to not understand. Then I look back at all the good. And trust for the future. That is faith.


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6 Comments »

6 Responses to “Faith”

  1. You are right...that is faith!  Sorry about your son's wrist!  Hope it heals quick!

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  2. Stopping over from the Faith Jam.  Asking God to encourage your heart today.

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  3. Your post really touchd me today-thank you! Hope your little one heals soon!

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  4. It IS okay to be honest with God, I totally agree.  Blessings!

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  5. i am so glad you were honest. i love honest people. and i hate the sin in this world too, friend...

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  6. To see the abundant blessings arounds us and "trust for the future." Strong reminder. Thank you.

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