31 Days of Quality Time :: Day 13, Within the Chaos

Saturday, October 13, 2012

{This post is part of a series. To read from the beginning, click here.}

Yesterday, I pretty much admitted that this habit isn't happening for me. I am not stopping at any point during my day to close my eyes and sit in silence.

Not even close to that. 
I thought I would go deep on Tuesday, because that is when I usually (I've been twice) go to this (totally intense for me) yoga class. The dude chants and after the (attempted) handstands and (ohmygosh did I just do that) backbend, we lie still. Rarely has my mind been so quiet. I thought it would be the perfect for me opportunity to more fully explore Habit No. 2.

It didn't happen this week. This Tuesday, I took my son to his long-scheduled four year old "well check," and I held him while he screamed through his immunization shots. Screamed. After, I took him home for Tylenol and comfort food. We snuggled on the couch and watched Doc McStuffins. He wasn't up for gym childcare, and neither was I. I wanted to have a real, serious, "practicing silence" moment to write about here, but when my best opportunity came and went, I just watched it go.

I closed my eyes, held my boy, and listened to Doc sing, "Time for your check up! Time for your check up!" My mind drifted into whitespace, and I felt peaceful. My child rested, and I did, too. It wasn't quiet, but it was serene. Tranquil. It was a moment when, according to my schedule, I should have been elsewhere. We could have made it to yoga. We didn't go. Normally, being off schedule and missing a once-a-week opportunity would cause me some angst; but in those circumstances I felt completely . . . calm. I felt good. It was shocking, and wonderful.

As I think back on it now, I'm realizing that perhaps quality time isn't about taking on a new discipline. Rather, quality time is about embracing the moment I'm in. Practicing silence sounds great, and maybe it will be for me one day. But for now, I'd rather find ways to relax within the chaos instead of trying to escape it.

What about you? Have you been able to sit still and practice five minutes of silence? How do you feel about making it a part of your day?

Tomorrow we start Habit No. 3 . . .

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