31 Days of Quality Time :: Day 30, Texting to Stay Close

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Habit Number Five, asking your spouse, "How was your day?" is about creating quality time with your partner, and staying connected. It is about acknowledging each other and having actual conversation. The question for me, though, is when do I ask about his day? I've written about the concept of couch time, the realities of the witching hour, the Biblical concept of a timely word, and the reasonable expectation of 1 %. But when?? We can schedule a quiet date night, or even a weekend away, but when can we connect each day?

My real life answer: texting.

I know this flies in the face of my whole "Be phone-free" thing, but that is about staying off the phone in the car, not all day long. Reality is that texting can be a busy mom's BFF. I can't talk on the phone. As soon as I pick it up, the decibel level in our home increases 100%. There is something about me being on the phone that makes every boo-boo catastrophic and every sibling insult wail worthy. If I ever want to feel needed, I just pick up the phone. Literally. I could just stand there listening to a dial tone and I would suddenly be THE most important person in the house.

So, talking to my husband on the phone during the day does not work. But texting - texting is different. I can accomplish loads of stuff via text! The reason texting works is because interruptions don't matter. The other person isn't sitting there waiting for me to resolve the toy dispute or fix an emergency snack. No. The other person is not bothered until I hit "send." And then - the best part - I'm not bothered until I  check my phone. I might respond right away. I might not. That is the freedom of texting. And that is why it especially works to keep my husband and I connected throughout the day. He doesn't have to listen to kid chaos and I don't have to be annoyed that his phone call created kid chaos. I don't have to feel like I am interrupting his day, and he doesn't have to answer every time "Home" appears on the Caller ID. It works something like this:
Random thoughts on a Saturday
Checking in on a Monday
Nothing deep or profound, but we exchanged useful information. I got some clues about his day, and he got some about mine. We made each other smile. And, even if the subject matter is a shredder or doing the books at work or at home, sometimes it is nice to communicate about something other than the kiddos . . . cute as they are with a pot-bellied stare in the toy aisle.

Do you text with your spouse? Could you count it as quality time?
{This post is part of a series. To read from the beginning, click here.}

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One Response to “31 Days of Quality Time :: Day 30, Texting to Stay Close”

  1. I love this. My husband and I do more e-mailing back and forth throughout the day. If he's not near his computer or knows I'm not we do text. For the first 16 years of marriage we worked on the same campus. This is our answer to being apart.